Only 7 years to figure it out . . .

A la recherche du passé

 I've finally figured out why I haven't prepared any big holiday dinners here in our southern home. You would think I would have had this straightened out in this slow moving brain of mine at least 7 years ago but alas, that is not how my body and mind work.

We left home in Connecticut for Louisiana in December 2015, six months after I had undergone open heart surgery to have a valve tightened up and some other such craziness. I have loved our home here in DS but it just never seemed like a 'celebrate the family holidays home.' I've finally figured out that even though the Big Kids' Dad says that we actually have more room down here I still can't get myself to prepare any big get-togethers and it's only recently, after the doctors decided I needed a pacemaker, that my brain seems to be able to understand that our Connecticut Home is where my heart is when it comes to our families - our children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends - that are no longer within our reach physically. We are fortunate that our son, his wife and family are close by but it's terrible to realize that we no longer have all of the ties that bound us to our old Caron homestead. Most of the people that made up our Connecticut families are already in heaven and many of the rest of us are nearing that time when heaven isn't just a quickly passing thought. It is a reality, and even though I'm sure it will bring all of us respite from the aging we undergo, at times it is difficult for me to accept the obvious - life has moved on unceasingly as Big Kids' Dad and I get accustomed to not living in the olden days - say, from when we met in 1964 to our move South in 2015!

Since I have just figured this out in the last few days it makes sense to me. I need to understand that the holidays are beautiful and kind to us old folks but we have to make do with our memories of times past with Ma, Pa, Gram, Matante and our three kiddos around the table in the old Caron home and the Christmases, Easters and Thanksgivings when all three Big Kids and their families came for dinner. So life goes on and we are thankful we have one Big Kid nearby with his family to welcome us for our Southern Holidays. God bless us everyone!

Quote:  I desire no future that will break the ties of the past. _____George Eliot

Quote:  It is to live twice, when we can enjoy the recollections of our former life. _____Martial