Lives do not matter . . .

Sunset Park at Lake Maurepas (wish the sun had been setting!)

I've been staying away from this journal of mine because I'm so upset by the murders of the policemen in Baton Rouge. I have to keep my thoughts on them because there is so much hatred and pure evil in the world that I have trouble keeping my mind clear. I don't think I can process the information I receive in the paper, on TV or via the Internet without bursting into tears. I don't know a single person that is involved in anyway but I feel sick to my stomach and cry easily because I can't begin to understand how we've gotten to this point. I remember the civil rights marches of the 1960's and the horrors of the KKK.  I remember Vietnam and perhaps that is the closest I can get to the sick feeling in my gut, heart, body and brain. P&D's Pop was in Vietnam throughout 1966 and I think I may have buried the fear his Mom and I lived with each and every day. I know we were not alone but somehow you feel forsaken when you are helpless and someone you love is in constant danger. P&D's Pop never speaks of Vietnam and if the topic comes up he speaks of it as if  in a distant past that is better left there. Well with what's happening in this beloved country I have come to the sad conclusion that Lives Still Do Not Matter. We kill the unborn and euthanize the old, send our young men and women to fight evil without proper mindset, training and weapons Perhaps this has been going on forever and I'm such a dope because I believed that people can put up with one another even though we are different in all ways except for being human. But the peoples of this planet Earth seem determined to annihilate each other and it begins right here at home. I don't feel as if I've lived a very long time and yet I've seen this rotted human behavior so many times before.

As usual lately I can't make heads or tails out of the life outside of our own little home and yard. The only way I can survive the churning discontent I feel is seeking out the ones I cherish more than my own life and try to help others no matter where I encounter 'these others' and I must also take the time to enjoy the beauty in nature even though there are times I fear its wrath. I suppose it's possible that it is impossible for mankind to live in peace. Perhaps there is a missing link and man is left to search for it with no help from our Creator. I keep coming back to the thought that there are two gods, one good one evil and in their war of religions evil now has the upper hand. What to do? That is the question. I wish I could feel some kind of confidence in my own soul that as long as I do the best I can in my life I'm contributing to someone else's happiness and therefore to my own contentment and the happiness of those with whom I come in contact each day. It certainly isn't easy to come up with solutions to rid the world of the hate found in human souls. And that isn't even going into the politics of this mad country and world!

I may have to change what I call this blog, perhaps: Whatever passes through my skull. It certainly doesn't have to make sense.  So I guess that's not a bad title! (Ce qui se passe dans ma tete? Peut etre?) But that is sort of scary!

Quote:  Cowards falter, but danger is often overcome by those who nobly dare.   _____Queen Elizabeth

Old Man River . . .

We went for a nice, longish ride this morning as we had to deliver a 17th anniversary card to our son and his wife. I think I'm correct about the number and the date which is tomorrow? Didn't want to put it in the mail because I didn't want it squished. They are camping this weekend and it is good for Big Kiddo to get away when possible. Hopefully when he's away he has no cares but to relax and enjoy the common things that surround us but we rarely have time to appreciate: the sky, the animals, the warmth, the emptying of crap out of our skulls! The best part is getting rid of the junk in ourselves and having a sense  of sinking into our souls and not feeling our bodies. I like that feeling but it's hard work to get there. Now that doesn't seem right but it is hard for me to let go of my everyday pettiness. I do keep trying though.

After our delivery P&D's Pop drove me to the Mississippi River because I need that connection every once in awhile. It's easiest for us to go to St. Francisville. There wasn't much activity on the river that we could see but there were at least a dozen trucks with boat trailers parked near the ramp so I'm certain there were oodles of fishermen. We did see two men and a boy putting their boat back on their trailer and another man take off in his red kayak, going up the River. P&D's Pop has much better hearing than I. He told me there was a tug boat coming and I couldn't see it at all. He heard it way before I did and when I did hear it it was right in front of us pushing a large barge. I will try to put the video in my blog but I'm not sure exactly how to accomplish that. In any case I have a couple of still photos. I'm also going to try and put in the video of Paul Robeson singing Old Man River in 1936 in the movie, Showboat. It's a good song and probably tells the story of slavery better than Roots. Robeson has a deep base voice and that's probably my favorite timbre for a man. I'm not fond of most women's voices unless they're altos!

We drove home by going across the Audubon Bridge, through the little town of Ventress and down River Road on the west side of the Mississippi. I wish we could have driven on the levees themselves but alas we drove between the levees and the fields of sugar cane and soy. There are some homes along the road but not many. The farmers bale the hay on the levee which took me by surprise and I was tickled to see a man riding his horse along the bottom of the levee. What a great picture it would have made but we were rolling along at 50mph! Yes, it was a little fast for my taste as I was trying to see everything encircling the car but that is the limit and there was a truck with a trailer behind us so we really couldn't slow down too much. One car did race by us but the truck had a horse trailer and I doubt he would have taken a chance to go around us. There isn't much traffic but some of the curves in the river make the road curvy as all get out. Maybe when the cool weather arrives sometime in November we can take a walk on the levee. I would love that. I've only walked there about three times - once when we visited Grampa's Aunt in New Orleans back in April of 1980 or '81 then when we were in Baton Rouge visiting the museum and Old State House and last when we enjoyed going to the levees on the well preserved plantations off of River Road South.

We stopped at the The Local for lunch where I had their best sammich, Chicken Salad on a croissant and Grampa had a too chewy Ruben. I even broke down and drank a soft drink - root beer! Ate their home made potato chips too.I'm getting into such bad habits.

Quote:  No soul can preserve the bloom and delicacy of its existence without lonely musings and silent prayer, and the greatness of this necessity is in proportion to the greatness of evil.  ___Farrar

Had a good laugh this morning . . .

Yesterday evening - wires and all!

Was asked to help out with a bunch of more or less five year olds at Immaculate Conception Early Learning Center and one of the boys looked me right in the eye, I was stooping to help him copy the names of the planets, and asked me " Are you a grandma teacher?" I said, "No, I'm just a grandma helper but you may call me Miss Irène or Mrs. Rose." We were on the playground for what seemed to be hours in the sweaty, humid, hot air and he sought me out as I stood in a shady corner watching the kids play and said, "Hey Grandma, whatcha doin'?" I had to laugh out loud. He stayed with me and a few more kiddos came for a discussion of bad bugs and bats that drink your blood. We finally ended up with a few rounds of Old McDonald, so off key it was great. I never knew music could be so harsh and fun. After lunch the kids slowed down and snoozed or watched a video so I scooted home because the big black clouds and pretty strong winds were swirling in the tree tops. So far it seems that I'm most helpful from 10 - about 12:30 and then the classes rest for an hour or more each day. Most of the teachers don't seem to know what to do with me or are not sure what I am capable of so I just do the best I can to help the slower kids to get their projects completed or just stroll around the room keeping an eye out for recalcitrant little devils. I was told by a floater (paid helper) that three year old girls are mean and will ostracize another little girl out of sheer cruelty - liking to hurt someone. I believe it. I still maintain that children are little animals and they must be tamed. Really can't wait too long either because I do believe what my father told me. He said you've only got until they're seven years old to form good habits in them after that it's too late. I think he was correct and we have certainly missed the boat with the last generation so we'd better get going on this bunch or there will never again be people old enough to remind the schools and parents what their jobs are!

P&D's Pop brought me to Still Me on O'Neal Drive in Baton Rouge off of I 12 to pick up my new bras which had to be ordered.  Miss Alice has been the best person I've dealt with getting fitted properly and because of all of the ignorant people bussed into Baton Rouge in the wake of the latest turmoil I was a little concerned. No need for any concern whatsoever. Alice was her same wonderful, warm hearted efficient self. People are people and must be treated as if they were your alter ego. I do believe in the biblical teaching, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Not sure if that is the correct quote but it is very meaningful if you take it to heart. I'm starting to sound like a preacher but I think that's because I use my blog to help straighten out all sorts of questions and problems by writing for myself. I think it helps me even when my thoughts are all jumbled. I'll never come up with definitive answers for anyone else but that's not my goal. I'm just trying to cope with my life and keep myself on the straight and narrow path to wisdom, kindness, love and understanding. It is a lot of work at times.

Grampa went flying very early this morning in Walker. I suggested we get our fishing licenses because there are ponds in just about every park in Livingston and East Baton Rouge parishes. I didn't go with him because I don't like to get all sweaty walking before I go to the Early Learning Center but I still go the other days if the weather permits him to fly. It's been touch and go lately because the grass is sometime too long for the planes!

Took a break:  We just returned from Bass Pro where we paid $10 for the both of us to get our fishing and hunting licenses plus free deer tags.  Wow, I've never had a hunting license before.  This is kinda cool.  I would never hunt for food except if armageddon strikes but it's neat that I have the permission to hunt.  We live in a different world from Connecticut. To celebrate our new licenses we went to the Longhorn Steakhouse for a couple of Buds, a Perfect Margarita and Wild West Shrimp.  Superior day.

Quote:  To despise our own species is the price we must often pay for a knowledge of it.    ____Colton

Broke down . . .

Don't know if I've used this photo before. Part of a big pot of plants on the front porch.

Yep, I'm already back on FaceBook but I'm going to try and make it painless by only reading the good stuff; that means baby photos, bird photos, happy people photos, interesting, well conceived articles and daily corny statuses (or should that be stati?) In any case I'm so happy because our middle child is able to take a couple of days off while we're on our short stay in Connecticut and I'm super hyped about being with her. Kiddo has already said he's coming to breakfast with us whenever we go to the Depot in Central. Thinking he and Grampa may be able to go fishing while I make a couple of very short visits with a good cousin and a good friend. It's hard to try to set up some quick hellos with very important people who are still so involved in our lives though over 1200 miles away.

Grampa got the lawn mowed early this morning, before 8:30. I walked a little because it was only 73 degrees and there was still some shade on my route. I also moved a couple of plants around. I think I'll just put the plants that might last without too much watering in the storage room and give the one big pot to my hairdresser if she'd like it otherwise I don't think it'll last. We're going to stop buying groceries now so we don't leave too much in the fridge. Son will also be off and camping during the days we'll be up North so I have to make sure the mail and newspaper are cancelled. I'm sure our neighbors will keep an eye on our place. As a matter of fact we will be missing a neighborhood meeting but I don't think there will be any subdivision shattering news while we're gone!

Having trouble getting the Moosup bank to straighten out some paperwork. Still waiting to hear from two different ladies. May have to call again and raise a little Cain.

Quote:  Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand.   ____Plato

The Good Samaritan . . .

After the rain last night

Today at Mass Father Amal Raj spoke of the Good Samaritan; the timing is perfect. The Good Samaritan treated people as neighbors with kindness and compassion. When treated with kindness and compassion even the blind can see and the deaf can hear. It is true that there are people who will refuse to be helped but we must at least try to beam a bit of light and love into the many lost souls who are taught to be evil - the evil in men is created by man and only men can correct the evil we have allowed to fester through the years. False religions abound so I am doubtful that religion is the answer. But certainly people who have been taught self control, goodness, kindness and compassion while instilling in all children self respect, self reliance and an acceptance of imperfection can go on to live helpful, meaningful lives which they can share with others. I don't think anything can be worse then pure hatred; it is a bad seed growing wild and covering this planet earth. Like my Petit Prince we must work at keeping the baobabs under control. It is a very difficult job and not appreciated by those in need of calming, warming love that teaches us to control our base impulses. We can spread this desire to live a good wholesome life when we dare to look with a clear, respectful yet piercing gaze into the burning eyes of the hellish souls of the hateful. There will be bitterness and non-acceptance but we must keep on trying to act in good faith to all peoples. And yes, we must accept that we will not change all the mean, nasty, cowardly persons who seek to destroy what they envy but we must still act as decent human beings and by our actions show what it's like to be a Good Samaritan. We will fail often but it is no reason to give up. We can only work in our own sphere but a little at a time perhaps good can overcome evil.

Yes, I'm still stuck in what is happening in my new home state of Louisiana. After Mass this morning I did take a special card that was offered to all of us in church. It is called Shield a Badge With Prayer and the names of the 35 police officers from Denham Springs are listed with one of them highlighted so we can hone in on a particular officer. I'm not a very strong believer in the power of prayers said by billions of people in the world praying because it seems to me that if God hears one prayer for one human being He can act without the other 999,999,999,999. I am not overly religious but I do quietly believe that if I ask my deceased forefathers and friends to give all of us the strength to to what we must do in our lives that is probably the best prayer can do. They live within our hearts and immortal souls.  I always ask the Lord to help us each day to have the strength to do what must be done. I don't believe God controls our destiny. He has set creation in motion and I think we are to fend for ourselves. Was the God who made the universe good and the God who made man evil? Is there an eternal struggle between the God of Good and the God of Evil? I wish I felt confident in the power of the God of Abraham but I seem to have to go to Him through intermediaries, my mother, my father, little Louise, Pépé Bonnin, MaTante Rose, Gram, Angie and Mary, his mother. I know that they were all good teachers and loving parents and friends so I am not concerned about death since I believe that my children and perhaps a few relatives and friends will remember that I may have done just a bit of good in their lives and my love for them is boundless. Perhaps remembrance is heaven.

Here I am rambling on once again with my doubts. The prayer written on the back of the card for the Denham Springs police says, " Lord God, keep us 'alert, strong in faith, and courageous' as we lead in love." 1 Cor. 16:13. Their names are legion but I will enumerate them:  Shannon, Patrick, Tommy, Gerald, James,  Clay, Paul G. Paul S. Rodney, Larian, Clifton, Marty Landon, Steven, Bert, Keith, Glenn, Brien, Jimson, Bailey, Wesley, Brett, Eddie, Scott, Amber, David, Halie, Michael, Daniel, Brent, Justin, Brian, Junior, Ben Leroy. Sometimes on Tuesday mornings P&D's Pop and I see about 12 of these young officers at IHOP.  They always make me smile when I see them having a good time before or perhaps after their shifts.

Took a dry run to Baton Rouge Airport today and stopped at P Beau'shttp://www.p-beaus.com/main/home  for brunch.  Good stuff! We'll have to bring Big Kiddo and his wife there one week end.

Quote:  The greatest prayer is patience.  ____Buddha

Sign of what is to come? Let us hope the politicians butt out and Baton Rouge handles its own affairs.

This evening's omen.

Perhaps man is fatally flawed

Newbies

The optimist in me may be slowly ebbing its way into dark imaginings and fears. There are lessons that mankind should have already learned over the millennia but we keep doing the same mean, vicious, cruel, ignorant,  purposeful acts. There is no beauty, love or kindness when human beings treat other human beings as creatures from the satanic realm of hell. This lack of good judgement is world wide and religion has not found a correction for the debased form of man who has no will or desire to do good. Perhaps the gods of evil are winning the battle for the soul of mankind. It seems we are born helpless, impressionable, useless, dependent and if a man and a woman do not take the time to raise a new being with great love and greater rigor in the ways of a good human being then we are left with a world of selfish, uncaring, ignorant, self-satisfied, wanting, cruel animals that make the animal kingdom with its natural impulses seem sweet, mild and loving as it protects its young and territory. We seem to be living in a senseless time where technology may not be helpful in fostering the goodness we should be able to see in ourselves and in all human beings. Not feeling very hopeful at this time but I shall go about my daily routines, not expose myself to dangers, and there are real dangers in this modern world, but I will continue to look for goodness in our horribly blighted world.

Really can't be a pessimist. There is something in me that refuses to believe that human beings can't manage to live together. There will never be peace on earth but I can hope that there will be enough good people in all lands willing to try to enjoy this beautiful earth and let others enjoy their part of the earth in their own ways. I guess it would be my fervent prayer but I'm not certain the God of my fathers can do anything to help us forlorn creatures. Did He miss a gene somewhere, the gene for being thoughtful, rational beings?

Yes, Baton Rouge, Dallas prey on my mind as does September 11, 2001 and the atrocities in Europe and across planet earth - no longer the big blue marble but a big black cesspool of hate. Can it be redeemed?  That is the question.

Quote:  Do not talk about disgrace from a thing being known, when the disgrace is, that the thing should exist.   ___Falconer

Gotta get out . . .

Near the end of the driveway

Not sure if I can live up to my good intentions but I just threw out my easy links to FaceBook. I really should just get out of it altogether but there are still things I like to share and there are still people I enjoy hearing about so I'll just see if I can maintain my own invisibility for now. Not sure I can be good about staying away but I'm so tired of what I consider the stupidity so blatantly apparent in the nonsense that shows up, and yes I'll include myself in these inane, ubiquitous, know nothing posts, that I'll try to modify my own behavior. I think that when I go back I shall limit myself to a fifteen minute session once a day and only look at notifications from people whose posts I enjoy and perhaps a photo or two of the wonders around us. We'll see if I can accomplish this.

Went to Immaculate Conception Early Learning Center yesterday but they really didn't need any help so I went to the office in charge of the Catechism classes but it seems they're on summer hours! I think summer hours means whenever they decide that they should look in at the office to make sure it's still air conditioned and it's running smoothly! I did go back today and the Early Learning Center did need a helper for a substitute teacher with a dozen 5 year olds. She was pleased to have me and I even got a chance to read a book to the class and sing some of the lines! That's almost a sad story as I can't sing very well. But they were patient and helped me out on the chorus! I left at noon because the regular teacher returned and along with the paid sub she was in good shape as the kiddos take at least an hour nap or quiet time. I did manage to snag a taco for lunch. They feed the kids lunch every Friday otherwise they bring their lunches from home.

Must admit that it gets pretty warm here in southern Louisiana but I'm still trying to walk for 30 minutes each evening. I prefer to walk outside rather than in the house. P&D's Pop hasn't been flying as much because the parks are not mowing the grass often enough in this very hot, humid weather. The  grass grows very fast and could be mowed every other day! I think they almost wait two weeks at some of the parks. He will meet his buddy G. for a flying date at Doyle's Bayou tomorrow morning but I'm going to stay home and see if I'm in a baking or shopping mood.

Quote:  'Tis in my head; 'tis in my heart; 'tis everywhere; it rages like a madness, and I most wonder how my reason holds.    ____Otway

Help . . . I'm caught in the digital world and I want to be in the snail mail world . . .

Plain sunset

I should be laughing but it's not always funny. I'm sick of the digital edition of National Review. It used to come in like clockwork; I could put it in my iBook and it was ready for me when I wanted it. It no longer comes in the PDF format but downloads to the digital newsstand which sometimes tells me I have to pay for it again and sometimes lets me download it but not in my iBook. In any case I called to change my subscription and have hit more snags than imaginable. Three phone calls and more than one email later I'm wondering if they'll get it right. I realize they run on a non-existent budget but gee whiz it's tough when no one really knows what's going on. I had a good hearty laugh with one of the women I spoke with because we were just going in circles. Maybe someone, my last contact who wanted it all in an email will get it right. He promised!

Spent the Fourth of July at Big Kiddo's house for a cookout and the best fireworks. I love fireworks and if I had known that I could have added to the packages they had I would have bought some too. They were so much fun and right smack dab in front of your face. I bet I could easily go through $1000 and not have enough so, naturellement, I shall never do that but it's a seriously good thought for when my ship comes in. I would have them light the sky all over the USA not just the places that can afford a show. That would be so neat.

Had a nice visit from P&D's Pop's flying buddy and his wife. They are very nice with warm southern hospitality showing plain and clear on their handsome faces. I hope we get to go out to dinner or lunch one day in the Fall when the weather is more cooperative for being outside. It is mightily warm and humid here and this is only the beginning. The heat doesn't get to me as much as the brightness of the sun. It seems as though it is always directly overhead and burns right through to your soul. If burning cleanses then we should  be the most righteous people on earth but that doesn't seem to be the case. North, South, East or West we all have our share of imbeciles, crackpots, insane, mean, nasty, good, kind, sweet, lovable persons of every color, religion +. I get tired just thinking about all of the possibilities for deviant behaviors when we should all try to be good, kind, sharing, intelligence seeking humans.  What a frail being is man. What the heck was God thinking? Hoping He can get it right soon! Wouldn't that be wonderful.  If He leaves it to humanity we're doomed. Have to send Him an SOS.

Well, I guess that stream of consciousness op ed must be because I ended up with too much sweet stuff and am on a sugar high. Was almost caught in a huge traffic jam but managed to turn around and come home by another route that took me by Debbie's Snoball Express; stopped and bought  the richest blueberry cheesecake and ice cream snoball ever. Think I'll go sit outside and crash on my swing in the full blown heat. No one ever said I had to make sense. That's another good thing!

Quote:  Superstition renders a man a fool, and scepticism makes him mad.    ____Fielding

Grampa and the puppies are down and out . . .

Baby Loggerhead Shrikes in one of the Live Oaks

Hoping that the popping fireworks don't bother us too much. I imagine it'll be worse tomorrow and reach a crescendo Monday night. They're only light sounds tonight and with the air conditioning and closed doors I think we'll be okay. I know that expect to sleep well as I've had a few busy days and have been up early.

Thursday and Friday  from 10 to 1 in the afternoon I helped out at Immaculate Conception Early Learning Center. I was very happy that it went well. I was told I could stop any day and they'd love to have me. I think they may be sincere and not just being nice. On the first day I was with three year olds and one of them went into a crying jag and just kept yelling, "I want my Mommy!" It started on the playground and Miss M picked him up and tried to quiet him down but he would not quiet. I offered to take him but she said he'd be okay once we got back to her room. Well that was wishful thinking; he was crying hard and noisily and she decided to put him in the hall so the other kids could listen to her craft instructions .So I went with him and sat with an arm around him on the wooden steps near the door of M's room. We rocked for a bit and she came out to see how we were doing but he was still crying up a storm. I asked her if she had a book, a ball, some jacks anything and she brought me a book. B was still crying loudly and I started to read the book out loud. I told him it was just for me and he started to listen to the story. When Miss M came out again he didn't want to go in so she asked if he'd get her some cups from another classroom and he refused. I said I'd do it but I didn't know anything about the school and asked B to take my hand and show me where we had to go. Well, it worked, we made it back to the class quietly and he was as good as gold. Phew, baptism by fire! Friday I helped with the five year olds and we ended up on a scavenger hunt. I did end up having a good hot dog for lunch and watermelon along with the entire class. It's a good thing there were only 10 kids! I do believe I'm going to like it here.

Middle child and family have moved into their modernized 100 year old home in Connecticut. They sound so happy to be in their own home once again. Kiddo took me for a FaceTime walk through and I can't wait to be with them in a few weeks.

For dinner tonight I cooked up some smoked pork chops and was impressed. They were delicious along with some spicy jambalaya rice, fresh corn on the cob and watermelon dessert. I can't get over how sweet the melon is down here. But it makes sense since it is picked ripe and close by. It's never been my favorite melon but I think it will be now. Grampa cut it in half and I just scooped out big chunks, chilled them and used a fork to eat those heavenly sweet bites. I should spend some time tonight fixing up my Bomb Manual. Kiddo and I have a game we play where we have to diffuse a bomb within a certain number of minutes. I'm not very good at this game but my 23 page manual didn't print up very well so I have to go through it and fix it up. That's a lot of work but maybe I'll learn some tricks in the process.

Oh, got a call from our Vermont friends today and they are well. We've been invited to visit them which is a very gracious offer but our visits will be to Connecticut and it would be nice to go to England again but we're not good long distance travelers! Thank goodness youngest Kiddo and G will visit us.

Quote:  Let out object be our country, our whole country, and nothing but our country.   _____Daniel Webster